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Wow, ok. Let's start this off with a bang.

While stumbling through the interwebz today, I came across a great video that involves Morgan Freeman and Mike Wallace. I'd really love to see the entire interview, as I'm a HUGE fan of Morgan Freeman, but this one tidbit was pretty interesting in itself.

The interview is from the show 60 Minutes (which I admit, I don't watch even though I'd like to), and the clip starts off in the middle of the interview (I'm assuming). One of the links to the video is here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FO214IFRW1M



And I'll try to embed it as best I can. I've not used this as a blogging platform before. I'd also like to go ahead and write out the dialogue between the two of them, and then interject my own thoughts in as we go.



---START CLIP---

Mike Wallace: Black History Month...you find...
Morgan Freeman: Ridiculous.
Wallace: Why?
Freeman: You're going to relegate my history to one month?
Wallace: Oh, c'mon...(interrupted)
Freeman: What do you do with yours?
Wallace: (*sighs, looks away*)
Freeman: Which month is White History Month?
Wallace: (*exhales/incredulous sound*)
Freeman: Well, well, c'mon..tell me.
Wallace: Well, dah...I'm Jewish.
Freeman: OK, which month is Jewish History Month?
Wallace: Ah, there isn't one.
Freeman: Oooh! Oh. Why not?
Wallace: Yeah.
Freeman: Do you want one?
Wallace: No, no...I..
Freeman: I..I don't either. I don't want a Black History Month. Black History is American History.
Wallace: ....how are we going to get rid of racism and...(*interrupted*)
Freeman: Stop talking about it. I'm going to stop calling you "a white man."
Wallace: ...yeah.
Freeman: ...and I'm going to ask you to stop calling me "a black man." I know you as Mike Wallace, you know me as Morgan Freeman.

---END CLIP---

Can you see why I like Morgan Freeman so much? He's absolutely real, and he doesn't flinch when asked about his opinion. He speaks very intelligently, and takes little more than a few seconds (if that) to justify what he's saying. To top it off, what he says makes sense!


Why is "Black History" separated from the rest of American History? Plenty of African-Americans have contributed to every aspect of our lives, not only with our culture, but with incredible inventions and ideas. There shouldn't be a time that we start or stop talking about "Black History" at all. The fact that it's even separated as it is makes it out to be different, which is ridiculous.

He brings up the fact that there isn't a "White History Month", to which Mike Wallace is taken aback. It's a pretty simple question, and there was an obvious point behind it. Now, granted, I have respect for Mr. Wallace as well, but he was stumped by the question. And how does he respond? Ah, eh, erm, dah...I'm Jewish.

JEWISH? What's his religion got to do with that? "Black" isn't a religion, and Jewish isn't considered to be a race. Even if that was an answer that made any kind of sense, there certainly isn't a Jewish History Month, or anything of the like. When asked if he wanted one, Mike Wallace said no... Now, granted, I'm not Mike Wallace, so I can only guess as to why he'd say no, but I'd say that it was because it would make no sense, since Jewish history in the United States of America is also part of AMERICAN HISTORY. Why would you count it out and only celebrate it for a short time in the year?

The next question, though, is the killer. I can't even believe that he asked this question. "How are we going to get rid of racism?"

...c'mon. You've got to be freakin' kidding me. By teaching "Black History" in a different sense than the rest of American History, you're giving the impression that it's different, or that it doesn't fit in with the rest of our history. Why should it be separated, if it's all from the history of our country? Or, better yet, HOW does "Black History Month" help get rid of racism? By pointing out a bunch of African-American people haven't just sat around and did nothing throughout the time that they've been here? Weren't there African-American soldiers fighting in our wars? Weren't there African-American people who invented and revolutionized our country? Weren't there African-American men and women who, throughout American History, contributed to our country?

I doubt that would make a difference to people who are racist. The intelligent ones know that already, and those that don't know it don't really care. So "how are we going ot get rid of racism?" Simple.

Stop talking about it.
Stop contributing to it.
Stop differentiating between one person and another by the color of their skin.

The difference between myself and an African-American are minimal when you count them as a person, just as they are between myself and another Caucasian-American. We're all still of the human race, and we need to start acting like it.

test

I'm posting here because I know that no one reads this, and I'm going to write it somewhere so I can get it out of my system. We're not going to use names as a reference (just in case someone DOES read this), we'll just use a letter or two from the username.

So yesterday I was reading through dy's journal (and, from now on, she'll be referred to as "kitten", because that's what I call her), and it turns out that she already posted a link to a separate forum/blog/journal that I set up for her. One that she asked to be setup.

Granted, I wasn't done with it yet, but that's fine. We can update the little things as we go. Anyway, one of her friends (we'll call her "M", so that if she reads this, she'll know it was her, but shouldn't be too mad since I'm not using the whole thing) wrote a post on there, and it was fairly negative from the start.

Most of it was about how she felt I was starting to isolate 'kitten' from her friends and her support group. I responded to it, and according to her I was blatantly attacking her. So, instead of showing her on there that I could have just posted how I really felt at the moment, I posted points against her arguments. Wait...wait...you know what? Let's just post what she wrote, and I'll break down the parts and put what I got from each part (in parenthesis). We'll start with the very first one:

'M': "The question I have is - why? You have a blog. Why move it to another site? *shrug* not my relationship, o'course, but it just seems pointless."

(To me, though, she seems surprised and at least partially against the idea. Here, I'll even break it down a little further: "Why? You have a blog." Yes. Yes she does, and I'm sure that she's aware of that. She posts in it almost every day, and on some days more than once.

Next part: "not my relationship, o'course, but it just seems pointless." Well...just an observation that she's making, but it's still giving off the whole negative vibe. And that she has to mention "not my relationship" doesn't really make much sense to slap in, because it's -not- her relationship, and it's really none of her business. If we wanted to decorate her kitchen with Caribbean Wallpaper instead of tile and then put a roll of toilet paper on the microwave, it would be pointless, but it's something that we want to do. It doesn't -have- to make sense.

Anyway, let's go on, down the posts...'kitten' replies):

'kitten': "it was a site he's had that's not being used.
I didnt think that everyone in my f-list really wanted to read D/s type thoughts - even those in the smut filter.
I wanted to have a space that I could devote JUST to that
And it made him happy to make something pretty for me."

(Here, 'kitten' is giving her the reasons why, just because she felt as if she should. Note on there that she says "it was a site he's had that's not being used." This is true...it was wasted space that I was paying for...what's the point of the space if -I'm- not using it for something? And she got the feeling that they might not want to read about the D/s type thoughts, probably from an earlier post on a previous issue. I'll get to that part in a minute.

Note as well that she says "I wanted to have a space that I could devote JUST to that". Remember that she said that, because it'll come into play later on.

Moving on...):

'M': "Its just that my instinct says that its a control factor. It takes you away from your support system, it isolates you in that arena to only his input, and yeah it may make him happy to do something pretty for you - but its double the work for you, and what if you dont use it as much OR why isnt he reading all that you are, not just the D/s stuff? It just strikes me as isolating you from people who care for you, even if there is an RSS feed, it would have been simpler and take only a moments click to have you create a D/s filter so he could read ALL of you including the D/s and the rest of your life, and let those who care and support you choose to be filtered out.

*shrug* Pretty or not, its more work on your part and isolating your D/s life from your real life - just as Patric and you did with your other LJ. At least there it was reasonably easy to follow along cuz it was on the same location, if the feed doesnt work how often do you really think others will go to the other blog just to check in on some random D/s posts?

Ill take a hit on this and say Im cranky - even I have an alt journal for bdsm - but its for those who are NOT interested in my life other than the sex. I duplicate everything from my D/s filter here over there, but thats not the same as cutting it out completely out of your LJ, its allowing those kink only interested people to see kink only, while accomidating those who want to see the entirety of my life including the D/s too.

Im just worried your going to end up isolated again, away from any kink support, and this time with a very young man with no experience, who you seem blind to some of his potential downfalls, posting only your D/s thoughts and feelings - the biggest part of your soul from what I understand - in a location where only he can interact with you, or those he approves of.

Call me a worry wart. And pee'ing on your parade. And all the other bad things you can think of. Doesnt mean Im not worried."

(Ok, this is where I get the feeling that she doesn't like me...also from previous critical posts, and other assumptions that she's made. Since this is the post I responded to, and I'll post that part next, this is going to be where I break down and start making my points on why I posted what I did. Breaking her post down more:

"Its just that my instinct says that its a control factor. It takes you away from your support system, it isolates you in that arena to only his input, and yeah it may make him happy to do something pretty for you - but its double the work for you, and what if you dont use it as much OR why isnt he reading all that you are, not just the D/s stuff? It just strikes me as isolating you from people who care for you, even if there is an RSS feed, it would have been simpler and take only a moments click to have you create a D/s filter so he could read ALL of you including the D/s and the rest of your life, and let those who care and support you choose to be filtered out."

Note the negative words in here. It has to do with isolation, control, etc. And right there, even though 'kitten' already told her that she -WANTED- the space in the previous post, it's as if 'M' didn't read it. In this paragraph alone, she's trying to persuade 'kitten' not to do it, not to consider it, because 'M' feels as if I'm trying to isolate her. She says that, point blank, and I'm sorry, but you can't take something like that and think that someone still likes you. 'Yeah, he's great, but he's trying to take you away from your family'. Oh, yeah, that has 'She likes me' all over it.

Read it again. Let's go over more key parts: "control factor","It takes you away from your support system","isolates you...only his input","double the work","why isn't he reading all that you are","strikes me as isolating you from people who care for you","simpler to take only a moment...create a D/s filter","let those who care and support you".

This is major 'Us vs. Them' arguments. She's already making it out to seem as if I'm trying to take her away from everyone and everything that cares about her because of my own selfish needs and desires. She's also making it out like it's so hard to type things at more than one place...everything in her argument is negative, there aren't any 'supporting' parts in that first paragraph at all.

Ok, next paragraph:

"*shrug* Pretty or not, its more work on your part and isolating your D/s life from your real life - just as Patric and you did with your other LJ. At least there it was reasonably easy to follow along cuz it was on the same location, if the feed doesnt work how often do you really think others will go to the other blog just to check in on some random D/s posts?"

Ummm...right at the start again. It's something that 'kitten' wants, and 'kitten' thinks that it's pretty, and yet it's blown off already. "Pretty or not, its more work on your part". I'm sorry...I'm just a lazybones that doesn't write in this thing, and even I don't find it to be that much harder. I make posts in other forums, and sometimes I say the same thing, but if I didn't want to, then I wouldn't.

More of the same negative parts. Isolation, and this time she gives an example of a previous bad experience to associate how bad this whole thing that 'kitten' wants really is. And -THEN- she uses that bad example to further illustrate that even though it was BAD, it was still better than what I'm doing because it was it was on the same site, LJ.

Granted, I'm not the LJ expert...I don't post here, mostly because I don't want to. And, I'm sorry, but to get to a different LJ, don't you have to go to a different address? Like, if one is 'kitten.livejournal.com', wouldn't another LJ be 'kittenbdsm.livejournal.com'? Can you have more than one LJ on a single username? I really don't think you do, but once again, I don't use this. So it might be that I don't know much about LJ, but I think I've got the basic part of that right. If I don't, then please tell me where.

There was mention in the original post by 'kitten' where it mentions that there's an RSS feature, so that they can follow along without actually visiting the site. This was, by all means, consideration for those that don't want to go somewhere else to view these posts. With the RSS, they wouldn't have to! So, since that was an answer to a basic concern, it was attacked as well:

"if the feed doesnt work how often do you really think others will go to the other blog just to check in on some random D/s posts?"

....if it doesn't work, then whoopee. If you don't want to read about it, then no, you're not going to be visiting another site. That's a given. I mean, I don't want to read the LJ that 'M' has, and so I don't go there. But the point of this is that she's saying that all of her supporting friends, or at least most of them, won't go out of their way to visit and continue to give her support. 'M' is saying that it's just too much trouble for the people that care about 'kitten' to go and look somewhere else to read posts that she wants to make there, so far only going to be about her D/s ones. I'm sure that not everyone wants to read those parts, so...if they don't, then they won't. If they do, then it's only -seconds- out of their time to go elsewhere.

See the negative so far? Oh, but wait, there's more. Next paragraph:

"Ill take a hit on this and say Im cranky - even I have an alt journal for bdsm - but its for those who are NOT interested in my life other than the sex. I duplicate everything from my D/s filter here over there, but thats not the same as cutting it out completely out of your LJ, its allowing those kink only interested people to see kink only, while accomidating those who want to see the entirety of my life including the D/s too."

She might be cranky. And, hey, we all get cranky. And, right there, she says that even she's got an alternate journal for BDSM. For those that are not interested in anything but the BDSM part of her life. She even goes on to say that she duplicates everything from the D/s filter to there, so that people who only want to read about the kink don't get bothered by her real life.

Now...I know that I'm not the expert on filters. But, instead of making another journal, why not make another filter, a 'life' filter, and just post everything but the BDSM stuff in it? Wouldn't that be even easier? And that way, you could have one journal, those that are interested in your life other than BDSM can be added to the 'life' filter, and the people interested in the BDSM could just stick with the journal in general.

To me, that cuts the whole "having two journals" out of the picture. You don't need two journals if you have the capability to make filters like that. And, yet, she has one. To me, that makes the whole thing kinda hypocritical. Once again, though, if I'm wrong, then show me where. If I have make an example of what I'm talking about, then by all means, tell me. I'll take that challenge.

But, either way, it's still giving examples and trying to prove how BAD the idea was, because of how EASY it is to do it her way. Still trying to convince and push against it.

Last part:

"Im just worried your going to end up isolated again, away from any kink support, and this time with a very young man with no experience, who you seem blind to some of his potential downfalls, posting only your D/s thoughts and feelings - the biggest part of your soul from what I understand - in a location where only he can interact with you, or those he approves of.

Call me a worry wart. And pee'ing on your parade. And all the other bad things you can think of. Doesnt mean Im not worried."

'M' thinks that 'kitten' is going to be isolated again. "Away from any kink support". Does she really need support? I'm sure if she did, she could very easily IM someone or ask them directly. If someone wants to participate in supporting her through posts in a blog/forum, then it's VERY very easy. Note here that she plays on past experiences again, and pushes that this one is so much worse because it's with "a very young man with no experience". She doesn't know much about me, if anything at all, really. I don't post on here, and I've only talked with her once. So, even though I'm not 'worldly' experienced in all things BDSM, the fact that she's making it a point to put in "very young" and "no experience" shows that she thinks negatively of me, and how I might or might not be able to handle the situation.

Yes, I'm young. But, I'm not a complete idiot. I know how things work, and if I were doing something wrong, trust me, I'd hear about it.

Let's use keywords/phrases here too, just to illustrate my point: "Im worried","isolated again","away from...support","very young man...no experience","his potential downfalls","only he can interact...or those he approves of".

These are mostly wild assumptions, mostly because she hasn't actually TRIED to interact with this other board. Anyone can view/post to the main part of the board. There's ONE section that I made that will be private, but since I talk to the girl every day anyway, it won't be used much. I'm thinking that it'll be a part where I can assign the punishments that she can post to the board. Her responses would be public. Then again, I might not use it at all...it's very easy to make one and also to delete it. But, where she'll be posting pretty much everything, is visible to everyone. And they can even post responses back. 'kitten' has already got people to post responses. A couple of people registered, and that's fine. Those that register can use the PM system of the board if they want, and also can have their own profile/username, and I'm planning on even setting up a spot so that they can post their own stuff, if they want to.

I'm not isolating her in the slightest. I let her choose who she wants to talk to, and who she doesn't. If I have a problem with someone, I tell her. I advise her that I don't like that person, and she makes her own decision.

Anyway...so I was half concerned/half miffed/half insulted. Yes, I know, that's three halves, but..whatever.

So I asked 'kitten' if she'd mind if I responded to 'M'. She said it was fine, and so I did. Here's my response...I had to make it three parts, because it didn't all fit in one reply.

It's pretty long...):

'J': "Oh my god....I'm posting a reply to something...

I just wanted to put in a response to this, seeing as how I need to defend anything that I've done. One reason that I'm doing this, is because I know that you (and probably a few others) don't feel much good coming from me.

Let me go ahead and put in here that you're a great friend for looking out for her. I hope that some of my friends would be so great as to look out for me in situations that might be potentially bad for me. For that, I respect you and your decisions on how you deal with her issues/offer advice, etc.

Its just that my instinct says that its a control factor. It takes you away from your support system, it isolates you in that arena to only his input, and yeah it may make him happy to do something pretty for you - but its double the work for you, and what if you dont use it as much OR why isnt he reading all that you are, not just the D/s stuff?

Let's go ahead and start with this. Is it a control factor? To a small extent, I guess it could be, but I'm not bent on making her use it. I mentioned something about having her post here too (although it would be rather pointless to post in both places), and believe it or not, we already covered the issue about "input". She wanted it set up so that you didn't have to "register" to view or reply posts. And, you can. I guess you didn't look to see if that was possible or not, which is pretty likely...I'm not quite done with everything that I want to customize with it yet.

Oh, and just so you know, I talk to her every day...morning, usually at least once during the day, and at night before we both go to sleep...usually one of us is sleeping before we actually get off the phone. And yes, I do read her blog, but not all the time....most of the time it's stuff that I already know, because I actually talk to her every day.

And, she doesn't HAVE to use it. If she doesn't use it, well...then it's still just wasted space that looks pretty.

It just strikes me as isolating you from people who care for you, even if there is an RSS feed, it would have been simpler and take only a moments click to have you create a D/s filter so he could read ALL of you including the D/s and the rest of your life, and let those who care and support you choose to be filtered out.

This also has some from the first response, and I won't repeat it. The RSS feed is a default feature on the board, and it's something that she wanted to have just in case people didn't want to take the time to go and read elsewhere. It was consideration on her part and on mine for that, and easier than her posting the same thing twice everywhere.

And, also, just so you know, I -am- in most of her filters...I can't say all, because I haven't checked, and honestly it doesn't matter. I don't have to read every bit of her writing to know her. I -KNOW- her, and she can verify that...I'm surprised that she hasn't posted anything on that yet.

*shrug* Pretty or not, its more work on your part and isolating your D/s life from your real life - just as Patric and you did with your other LJ. At least there it was reasonably easy to follow along cuz it was on the same location, if the feed doesnt work how often do you really think others will go to the other blog just to check in on some random D/s posts?

Pretty or not, it's actually the same amount of work if she had it on another blog on LJ or not. They'd still have to type in a new address or go to the other blog even if it were still on LJ.
The feed is just in case you don't want to take the half second to type in the address to go and view the site...you can just use the RSS viewer and read it, and there you go.

Oh, and to mention something that I haven't before...it's not just pretty, it's got a kitten to interact with. That's right...the cute little pink one in the title part. Since LJ doesn't let you do much on the modification side (without a hell of a lot of trouble), I didn't add it on here. Anyway...you click on the little kitten, and it chases your mouse (it's from a WebNeko website...very nice. The only problem was that I had to change where it started from, and I couldn't seem to contact the script owner....just had to figure it out and host it on my site...ugh). And when you're done with it chasing your mouse, you just click on it again, and it runs home. Very, very cute.

Ill take a hit on this and say Im cranky - even I have an alt journal for bdsm - but its for those who are NOT interested in my life other than the sex. I duplicate everything from my D/s filter here over there, but thats not the same as cutting it out completely out of your LJ, its allowing those kink only interested people to see kink only, while accomidating those who want to see the entirety of my life including the D/s too.

I wouldn't say that you're cranky. I'd say that you really don't trust me, you don't know what my intentions are, or why I do anything that I do with her. You don't approve of the way that I deal with her/do things, and that's fine. You don't have to. And it's nice that she's got friends that care about her that much to question things like that. You are the type of friend she needs to keep, and I'd never take that away from her.
Taking a page from your own book, why not make a filter to let everyone see your everything, then for those that don't want to see it, just filter everything but the 'kink' stuff out? Wouldn't that be easier to have just that one journal instead of two? I'll bet it could be done, and then you wouldn't need both journals at all. You could just have the one, and then you wouldn't be hypocritical (only in the lightest sense of the word) about having a different journal and posting the same thing twice.

Im just worried your going to end up isolated again, away from any kink support, and this time with a very young man with no experience, who you seem blind to some of his potential downfalls, posting only your D/s thoughts and feelings - the biggest part of your soul from what I understand - in a location where only he can interact with you, or those he approves of.

You should always be looking out for your friends, and this means that no matter the reason, every situation has the potential to be the wrong one. Especially when it's with such a 'very' young man with no experience and has so many blinding potential downfalls and flaws. Posting only her D/s thoughts and feelings there is only part of what I set it up for, and if you think that the biggest part of her soul is for that, then I'm almost ashamed of the praise I've giving you, because she has SO many more dimensions than that. I don't think that this part of her is larger than any other part of her soul.

And, as mentioned before, it's not restricted to just myself and those that I approve. If you want to register, that's fine, but you don't have to. You can just flip over to the site and read it if you really want to...the only plus to registering is having a unique username, profile, and private messaging. Oh, and if she wants, the ability to make posts. Then again, you didn't ask, you just assumed...and you know how that works, I'm sure.

I might be a "very young man with no experience", but I'm not stupid, and I'm certainly not so selfish and cruel as to isolate someone from those that care about her. Especially not someone that I'm trying to help grow past the 'wonderful' experiences and setbacks that she's had to suffer through.

And you should know better than to judge a book by it's cover. That's also disappointing, that you really don't know me and yet you've already decided everything without worrying about any of the details.

Call me a worry wart. And pee'ing on your parade. And all the other bad things you can think of. Doesnt mean Im not worried.

I know you're worried, but you don't have enough information on any of it to really base much of an opinion. But, honestly, is it bad to be worried? No. It does show that you care. But, honestly, you shouldn't base all of your opinions without really looking at something.

Anyway, I know...you don't like me. That's fine...you don't have to. But if she uses this other site, and you make it a point to tell her that you're not going to go read it because it's too much trouble for you, then you might want to reconsider how supportive you think you are in this part of her life. Anyone in her life, aside from the people that I know are bad for her, will never be kept from her, unless they decide to isolate her themselves."

(Now, if you read the whole thing, you'll notice that I say in there that I think that 'M' is a great friend for caring so much about 'kitten'. I said that in the beginning, and toward the end. The only place that I mentioned anything against her was the last two paragraphs.

I took what 'M' wrote, and what she's written in the past, as examples of how 'M' felt about me. I mentioned that I think that she doesn't trust me, and she pretty much illustrated that from her 'he is isolating you and taking you away' paragraphs. If she trusted me, or even respected me, she wouldn't have posted that to begin with.

So, all in all, I took it as an indirect attack, and felt as if she were trying to put doubt in the mind of 'kitten' that she should be with me. There was nothing positive in her post. Nothing.

And so, anyway, after responding, she sent another post...):

'M': "Wow - the amount of assumptinos on your part is disturbing.

1) you clearly dont know how to use LJ or you wouldnt make quite a few of the assumptions you have about the easy/hard/etc of reading her LJ - OR my assumed hypocritical behavior - you have no clue what you were talking about.

2) I never said I didnt like you, and that assumption is the worst thing youve done in all your heated vitrol.

3)She never said you had an LJ, which would again make the other issues moot - including having another site - but again thats her choice to go there or not.

I find it not only surprising the amount of hostility in your reply, but her lack of personal response to something that wasnt more than a few questions.

I genuinely spoke to her with concern and worry, because Ive seen her make some mistakes and didnt want her to make another one without thinking. Sure, a small one, but the biggest point being isolation. Your attack - and that is what you just did - is just beyond my ability to fathom.

I liked you. I had nothing negitive to say about you other than held concerns about your experience since youve made some obvious mistakes since 'meeting' her on line, but you seem interesed in overcomming it. I know you talk every day on the phone, doesnt mean you get the entirety of her or of what her support group thinks - and how they influence her or dont.

Anyway, your vitrol is beyond my ability to deal with at this moment. I said what I felt were genuine concerns for her, and I stand by them. Isolation being the main point. Its her choice, and always has been and always will be.

bTW - Good for you that you have an LJ, just makes me wonder even more why you would want her to move her D/s postings off of this site, but again - its all her choices if she chooses to do so. My point was to ask her to think about WHY you would want that, and if its valuable to HER.

And at this point, Ill remind you, I was speaking to HER not you, and the reasons youve given dont change my concerns. But my concerns are not HERS and if she is happy, Im supporting her all I can. Period. Assuming someone doesnt like you because they worry about HER actions, is pretty childish in my opinion, and it would be nice if you put that assumption out of your mind.

Goodnight"

(...wow. So the amount of assumptions I made was disturbing. OK, let's go over those assumptions again. Let's see:

"1) you clearly dont know how to use LJ or you wouldnt make quite a few of the assumptions you have about the easy/hard/etc of reading her LJ - OR my assumed hypocritical behavior - you have no clue what you were talking about."

Er...I didn't say it was hard to read her LJ. I didn't say that anywhere. And as for the "assumed hypocritical behavior", well...I'm sorry, but it's hypocritical. Saying "you don't need two, but I have two" is ridiculous. And if you can filter stuff out, then what's the point of you making one for just a certain type? I already went over this before, but hell....make a damn filter for everyone else, and then just keep the specific ones specific. And there you go. Easy as pie. In fact, if someone reads this and wants me to illustrate this point, by all means, let me know, and I -will- do it.

Don't freakin' assume that I don't know what I'm talking about just because I'm not on here every day. I understand perfectly well how filters work, and how to get them to work to my advantage.

"2) I never said I didnt like you, and that assumption is the worst thing youve done in all your heated vitrol."

No, she never said it, but making it a point to say that I'm trying to isolate and have complete control over her isn't complimenting me. And if you thought that my response to your negative post was heated, then you don't know less than you think you do. If you actually read it, you'd see it. I can make a heated response, and be happy that I didn't, because I'm not as rude or emotional as you are, and I would NEVER post angry on -her- LJ. I defended the whole decision, since you were trying so fucking hard to get her not to use it, even though SHE WANTED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. She posted that she wanted it. In the first fucking post, and in the response to you when you questioned it. You have NO right and NO place questioning the things that she wants, especially when you YOURSELF don't know anything about the situation or the medium that she's chosen to use.

Your own words and negative views of me and my "potential downfalls" show me that you don't like me. If you did, you wouldn't be so quick to post against it, and try to convince her not to use it at all.

"3)She never said you had an LJ, which would again make the other issues moot - including having another site - but again thats her choice to go there or not."

This has nothing to do with anything. And yes, I'm sorry, she DID say that I had a LJ account,and if you bothered to read her whole LJ, you'd see that. If you didn't see it, that's tough for you. She posted it. And the fact that I have an account means absolutely jack shit. And yes, it's her goddamn choice to go there if she wants to, so suck it the fuck up and get over your crap about how you don't think she should. You posted a rather long post about all the reasons why she shouldn't...she knows those reasons, she lived them, and she wanted the goddamn thing to start with.

"I find it not only surprising the amount of hostility in your reply, but her lack of personal response to something that wasnt more than a few questions."

My response to you wasn't hostile, and I can sure as hell get hostile if I wanted to. I think if you're reading this you'll see that. And the fact that she didn't respond first was because she already mentioned that she wanted it, and there wasn't anything in there saying that it was purely my idea to make her go there. You made that assumption, and even though it wasn't direct hostility pointed at me, it was an attack on myself and on that.

It wasn't a few questions, it was the same thing, over and over again about how you think that I'm trying to isolate her, and this time, it's worse because I'm so much more inexperienced than the fucking experts she was with before. Or the expert that you are. That's an insult and a fucking attack, and you were CLEAR with how you felt about me with that whole response. If you didn't think that way, then you shouldn't post it.

"I genuinely spoke to her with concern and worry, because Ive seen her make some mistakes and didnt want her to make another one without thinking. Sure, a small one, but the biggest point being isolation. Your attack - and that is what you just did - is just beyond my ability to fathom."

I never said that you didn't have concern or worry for her, and I know that she's made some mistakes in the past, but assuming that she's NOT thinking or that I'm in the same boat as the other assholes that she was with also shows that you don't think highly of me, and that you haven't. You just put that on there, in your own goddamn words, and then again here. There IS no isolation, and if you fucking took the time to actually LOOK, you'd see that. People already even registered, and I can assure you that it's not that hard, and it's instantaneous if you choose to do that. If you want to reply as a guest, then yeah, you can do that too.

And the only reason that you took it as an attack is because it was a response against your worries and fears. Since I didn't agree with you, you thought it was an attack. And by saying "and that is just what you did" shows that you think you're right about it. You don't know what my post was, because you either didn't read it, or you didn't fucking try to comprehend any of it other than I didn't think that you were being very good about trying to influence her decision on it.

"I liked you. I had nothing negitive to say about you other than held concerns about your experience since youve made some obvious mistakes since 'meeting' her on line, but you seem interesed in overcomming it. I know you talk every day on the phone, doesnt mean you get the entirety of her or of what her support group thinks - and how they influence her or dont."

You liked me for like...a minute. And you had plenty of negative stuff to say about me. My "obvious" mistakes might be mistakes to you, but they weren't mistakes to me. Just because you don't agree with how I handle things or how I decide to inflict punishment doesn't mean that it's a mistake. I know her. I know what works, what doesn't. And your ideas on "make her write an essay" or parts on physical pain.....if she doesn't understand what the problem is, she'll be apt to do it again. Just telling her that it's BAD to do something and then leaving it at that won't do much more than make her remember for a day or so what she did, and then she'll forget, because that's how people are. If there aren't punishments that actually AFFECT you, you aren't going to care about consequences.

And I get the entirety of how or what her "support group" thinks, and I get how they influence or they don't quite well. She talks about you guys too, mentions that she talked to someone, and they said something nice about something, or that they thought something was wrong, etc. And unless you're BLIND, you can see how the people around her influence her. EVERYONE gets influence from their environment. If you say you don't, then you're an idiot. You're making BOLD assumptions that I'm not involved in her life, and I'm sorry...I -AM-. I shouldn't have to tell you that, because it's really none of your business.

"Anyway, your vitrol is beyond my ability to deal with at this moment. I said what I felt were genuine concerns for her, and I stand by them. Isolation being the main point. Its her choice, and always has been and always will be."

Beyond your ability to deal with? What, you can't have a conversation with someone that doesn't agree with you? I noticed the part about isolation...I never said anything about her NOT posting in her LJ, in fact I mentioned that she might want to. I also asked her MORE THAN ONCE if she really wanted this other, and she said she did. She didn't mention that on here because she shouldn't have to. Stand by your concerns, but don't make it out like you were concerned, and then that you trusted/respected/liked me. My -VITRIOL- wasn't there to insult you or attack you. I responded to each of your damn parts so that you knew what I was referring to. I said more than once that it was nice that someone cared about her enough to be concerned... I even said that I wished more of my friends would be like that. HOW IS THAT A FUCKING INSULT OR ATTACK? Christ. And yes, it's her choice, so don't make such a HUGE thing over it. She wanted it, she got it. It was HER choice, and she doesn't need to consult YOU about the things that she wants if she decides not to.

"bTW - Good for you that you have an LJ, just makes me wonder even more why you would want her to move her D/s postings off of this site, but again - its all her choices if she chooses to do so. My point was to ask her to think about WHY you would want that, and if its valuable to HER."

Good for me that I have an LJ? I only got it because I wanted to read hers. People do that. I don't like the fact that LJ isn't as customizable as I want it to be. To me, it's restrictive, even so much as with the little pink kitten.

On mine, you can control virtually everything. Things can be coded in, and there's a LOT more potential possibilities with mine. And, she LIKES it. I don't want her posting shit to my LJ,because I don't use it and no one reads it. And, if she wants to open up her D/m to more of the population of the WORLD OUTSIDE OF LJ, she can.

Why do I want it? Because I think it's easier to use/customize/personalize. I think that it looks better. She can do so much more with her posts and with the whole board than she can do here. And, if she wanted it, it's got to be SOMEWHAT valuable to her. She said more than once that she wanted it. If you took the time to read her fucking posts, you would have seen that.

"And at this point, Ill remind you, I was speaking to HER not you, and the reasons youve given dont change my concerns. But my concerns are not HERS and if she is happy, Im supporting her all I can. Period. Assuming someone doesnt like you because they worry about HER actions, is pretty childish in my opinion, and it would be nice if you put that assumption out of your mind.

Goodnight"

At this point, you're pissy because I said something to you. Other people respond to things all the time....that's why there's the option there. If you truly wanted it to be private, you would have e-mailed her. And obviously, if you supported her all you can "Period", you wouldn't bitch about having to go somewhere else to do that. And you can be worried about HER ACTIONS and not be completely negative about something that she wanted. You chose to be that way, and I stand by my assumptions and now verifications. You can SAY you like someone, but if you don't show it, it's obviously a lie.

Read your own fucking posts again, and then tell me that you weren't negative about me or the our situation.